Dearest People of Earth,
Handsome Jack, here.
I’d like to start off by saying, welcome! Wipe your feet and if you put your grubby little fingers on anything, I will make you wash your hands in acid. Nobody said you could touch my things.
Now, that’s enough pleasantries.
Lets get down to business, shall we?
You don’t like me, and I don’t like you. Even if you did like me, I still wouldn’t like you. Get it? Excellent. I’m glad you can keep up with the conversation so far. I won’t have to sit you in the time out corner.
Now, you may have heard of me. I only foiled a bunch of bandits trying to control a Vault, and slayed the mighty horror within it single handed. Anything else people say is character assassination, and a filthy lie.
I’m currently holed up on a little planet called Pandora. Freaky, I know right? Like that thing called Pandora’s Box. It’s full of secrets or… something. Anyway, Vaults! Aren’t they just fantastic little mysteries full of riches, wisdom and guns. Wouldn’t you love to get a share in the glory?
This is my invitation to you, potential Vault Hunter, to come and achieve greatness right here on this humble little planet. It’s practically bursting at the seams with untold treasures!
I currently have in my possession two (that’s right, TWO. I hope you can count) copies of Borderlands 2 for Steam. Consider them your ticket to Pandora.
All you have to do, oh there’s always a catch isn’t there?
All you have to do is reblog this post. Not like it, because I already know you like it. I can almost picture you mindlessly bashing your keyboard in excitement.
I will pick two random people to hand these precious babies over to on January 31st. Whoa hey, long time right?
If you can’t wait that long, you’re not going to last on Pandora.
Patience is key.
See you soon.
x x Handsome Jack.